The family who has everything (for doing nothing) achieved a lot of memorable moments in 2014.They also taught us a valuable lesson about ourselves. Check out the reasons why we hate the Kardashians even more in 2014 than ever before — quick hits are in the slide show above, with more detailed info and link below.
12. Kim’s Ass
We can’t believe her tired, old, oiled-up, already-seen-by-everyone-in-the-free-world ass is still considered a news story, and that Paper Magazine actually used it (and her other lady parts) to score press and sell mags.
11. Kim and Kanye on the cover of Vogue
The incomparable Annie Leibovitz shot Kim and Kanye for Vogue in the April 2014 issue. How is it that respectable publications like Paper and Vogue put these people — who haven’t done anything really culturally significant (well, okay, maybe Kanye has) on their covers? Print is struggling, they need sell magazines, but it’s still a sad reality.
10. Pregnant Kourtney in the Nude
What we hate even more than Kim’s naked body on a magazine cover? Her pregnant sister Kourtney flashing it for DuJour Magazine less than a month after Kim’s Paper pictorial. Is this all the family has to offer? (Evidently, yes.)
9. They’re Still Breeding
They’re still breeding — and publications are fighting over baby photos. That means money, which also means there’s an unending supply of Kardashian kids for future generations to enjoy. (You know, everyone else in the U.S. has to get a license to adopt a dog or cat from the pound, but anyone can breed. Think on that for a second…)
8. Kim Kardashian’s Mobile App
This app made $43 million dollars this year. It’s about climbing social ladders and being the most vain, shallow person imaginable. In November, mamma Kris became a character, and now Khloe and Kourtney have been given their own avatars. AND PEOPLE LOVE IT — which makes us lose hope in everyone.
7. Kim Was #1 on Bing’s Most-searched Celebrities List
Actually, that’s kind of funny. Does anyone really use Bing? Or does mamma Kris have the entire Kardashian clan doing random searches on the site in order to score the high ranking? If North Korea can attack Sony, this seems within the realm of possibility.
6. Kendall Jenner Modeling
Kendall Jennar is modeling, most recently for Vogue and other legit publications. And she’s pretty good, too. We hate it when we like something one of them is doing.
5. Kylie Jenner Is Starting to Look Like Kim
From butt shots to fashion choices, she loves her sister’s style — and the media loves it, too, which is REALLY annoying. Seriously, woman, THAT BUTT is your role model?
4. Kim Getting Attacked in Paris
When news broke that Vitalii Sediuk attacked Kim at Paris Fashion Week, we were actually worried about her — an emotion we hated feeling. On the upside, it did produce some amazing photos of her security guard protecting her, which is awesome on so many levels.
3. Bruce Jenner Can’t Transition in Peace
We hate that Bruce Jenner is transitioning to a woman — a challenging, difficult, and hugely private process for any person — but he can’t do that in peace because he’s part of this media-obsessed family.
2. But What We Hate Even More…
Is that he may do it as part of a new reality show. Guess Bruce wasn’t as innocent in the reality TV empire as many assumed. #ButtImplantsAnyone #TakeALessonFromKim
Mamma is still skulking about, manipulating her daughters’ empires, which means there can only be more horrible things to come in 2015.
So, what did we learn from hating the Kardashians?
The most obvious lesson of them all: We love to hate the Kardashians. People gobble up everything about them. Any story we put up on Facebook featuring the ladies is a guaranteed traffic goldmine, because whether or not you love or hate them, you want to know what they’re doing. Or comment on what they’re doing. And, if you really think about it, that says more about society than it does about the Kardashians themselves. #ThinkAboutIt