Okay, she isn’t quite the driving force that is Hillary Clinton and she probably can’t throw moves like Michelle Obama, but Melania Trump is the new First Lady and everyone pretty much has to deal with it now.
From nude photos, to Twitter attacks and THAT cringe-worthy speech, here’s everything you need to know about the woman who sits down for breakfast with the new President of the United States.
Her marriage to Trump
The 46-year-old Slovenian “model” has been married to Donald Trump, who is 24 years her senior, since 1998. They have one son together, little Barron Trump, who, unlike most little boys his age, enjoys wearing a well-tailored suit.
She’s not as stupid as her crappy speech might have made her out to be, as Melania speaks five languages: Slovenian, English, French, Serbian and German. Come on Melania, impress us with your linguistic skills at least.
She’s not good at giving speeches
After being at the receiving end of a whole bunch of online abuse post-THAT speech, Melania has sworn to do her duty as First Lady of America in using her position to end online bullying. Okay…
Of course Lady Gaga, the hardcore Hillary supporter, had to stick her nose in it and dig an even deeper grave for poor Melania during a public Twitter rant in which she wrote:
.@MELANIATRUMP to say u will stand for “anti-bullying” is hypocrisy. Your husband is 1 of the most notorious bullies we have ever witnessed.
— #CountryOfKindness (@ladygaga) November 6, 2016
So, in terms of her role as First Lady, what is she likely to bring to the table, other than her very serious fight against bullying, which she is clearly pursuing from the very depths of her heart? Well…
She grew up in the hood
She grew up in communist Yugoslavia, which means she probably won’t be making many public speeches, judging by her thick accent and her husband’s love for immigrants…
She did, however, grow up in a concrete social housing tower block in Yugoslavia, which **fingers crossed** means she’ll be more in tune with people struggling to survive the Compton hood.
As she’s foreign and poor, Melania would really like it if people could be nicer to each other, or maybe just to her husband Donald.
She’s not shy about getting her tits out
This is the first time in history that Americans will be able to Google search naked pics of their First Lady and believe us, there are plenty of them out there for you to get your hands on. Melania previously posed naked for a French men’s monthly magazine, the photos of which were obtained by New York Magazine, showing the First Lady sprawled out naked in a bed alongside a Scandinavian topless model. Clearly, a career in politics isn’t something Melania had invested her time and efforts in prior to meeting Trump.
She’s supporting her husband’s plans to built the wall
Though she’s a foreigner with an accent, Melania fully supports her husband’s stance on immigration. She also doesn’t have a problem with Trump building a wall to keep out though criminals, we mean, illegal Mexican immigrants, which she meant too, of course!
She wants her husband to act more like a president
She doesn’t always agree with what Trump says and has complained that he should act more like a president. “I don’t agree with everything that he says but, you know, that is normal,” she added. “I’m my own person, I tell him what I think. I’m standing very strong on the ground on my two feet and I’m my own person. And I think that’s very important in the relationship.”