Talk about a let down.
The erotic best-seller, <em>50 Shades of Grey</em>, has revitalized many a sex lives of married and long-term couples but for at least one pair the book didn’t provide quite the happy ending they might have hoped for.
According to the<em><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2231576/50-Shades-Divorce-Wife-inspired-erotic-book-says-husband-failed-meet-expectations.html#ixzz2BzEd1HWd" target="_blank"> Daily Mail</a>,</em> a UK woman cited her husband’s “unreasonable behavior” in refusing to re-enact scenes from E.L James’ steamy novel – about the sadomasochistic affair of billionaire magnate Christian Grey and college student Anastasia Steele – as grounds for a divorce.
This is how it went down: The woman – whose name isn’t given – claimed her husband often forgets Valentine’s Day and doesn't compliment her appearance. After getting the book last year, she bought sexy lingerie in an attempt to spice things up, but the husband failed to respond. What’s more, when the husband found out where the requests were stemming from “He went ballistic […] and told her, ‘It’s all because you have been reading that bloody book’” according to the woman’s lawyer.
That’s when things came to a head. The wife said she had enough of his “boring attitude” and took things to the High Court. The husband agreed to the “unreasonable behavior” charge to speed along the divorce proceedings.
So we have to ask: Where do you stand on all this? Was the woman right in saying enough is enough, or do you think it’s near impossible to have a sex drive like Christian Grey’s? Should the man have gone along with the request to make his wife happy or would it just delay the inevitable? Sound off in the comment section below!
<span style="font-size: 9px;"><em>Feature Image: Original-press-releases.com & articles.latimes.com</em></span>
good for him. there are no boundaries or respect any longer in relationships, and trash like this novel are part of the problem. we think it is ok to objectify women and allow them to be used as tools. if this author was so adept at making a statement about how sex can be varied with this kind of behavior; why did she choose to have the male character a billionaire and powerful, while the woman is a college student? how pathetic. showing how power levels abuse people for the sake of commerce. (like pretty woman, gag) what a skank. im sure he will find a better woman who doesn’t jump on the trendy bandwagon of illicit stupidity.
I cannot believe that this book has generated such noteriety. It is written like a 13 year old girls One Direction fan fiction! It’s TERRIBLE. Why are women so inspired by awful and blatantly misogynistic S&M? This isn’t about women’s rights to have sex drives equal to men – that was agreed upon ages ago. This is about allowing a handsome, suave man of means dip into the pool of slightly-legal age girls and shows her who Daddy is. Steele? Grey? Puh-leeze. If this was a real woman’s fantasy it would be about a 40-something CEO who owns her own house(s), has a car, shoe and art collection who goes on a tour of the ancient civilizations and finds a gelato store owner, Raphael, who is years younger and has none of the woman’s achievements or financial opportunity. They have wild sex on a variety of Mediterranean islands and then she flies him home when she is done. Their affair was a release from their mundane lives even if each had very different lives.
There. A new best seller. And, in 2 minutes, a deeper plot was crafted than in all of the 50 Shades pages.
This woman and ear husband got divorced because he didn’t give a s–t about her anymore. When talking, lingerie and weeping don’t work, it’s OVER. Practically every man own earth watches porn, does that mean every divorce is because a woman doesn’t live up to his expectations? Or that he is a pervert? Or she is cheating? No. Each couple wins or loses based on their own personalities and trials. She sounds like a shiner and he sounds like a cheater but that is just MHO.
Moral of the story: real women shouldn’t fantasize about how grown men get domineering with college girls. There should be rich enough literature depicting strong women with men who love strong women.
But NONE,of this should be written by James.
Are you a girl or a guy, Kestrel, honestly? Few women want men younger and less accomplished than them. This sounds like a young male’s cougar fantasy to me.
“It is written like a 13 year old girls One Direction fan fiction!” QOTW for sure. Thanks for making me forcibly spit my drink out on my keyboard!
No wonder there re 50% divorces in the USA
Women are better that the ladies at the Bunny Ranch Bordello
In fact the whole US could be called the Bunny Ranch of America
This makes no sense. The woman in the article is from the UK. What does that have to do with divorce rates in the US?
too bad they were from the UK!
Clearly their divorce had nothing to do with the book, though it may have been the catalyst. IMO The problem they had was lack of communication and just not wanting to work at the relationship anymore. Regardless of how good or bad the book is, it just opened that woman’s eyes to the fact that she wasn’t getting what she needed out of her marriage. Also, I disagree with the commenter who called her a skank. Seriously? How do you know he’s not getting his jollies off on porn? What makes that any different from a trashy erotic novel? They both need to self-reflect before committing to marriage again.
No, but the book is popular among mediots, whose idiot box propagandists titter about on women’s talk shows. The audience of these shows are fat, lazy, apathetic, and unable to have a conversation about anything other than what they saw on the idiot box that day.
The best answer to a healthy relationship is to avoid the unhealthy society the media creates.
I completely agree. Her marriage had gone stale and he seemed disinterested in her. Never complimenting looks or remembering special occasions. This guy didn’t want her or deserve her.
I agree with Elizabeth that this book was merely the catalyst — that the marriage was destined to end in divorce regardless. It’s a shame really that so many do. I cannot fathom how you can go from loving someone so much you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them to not caring at all about their innermost desires and needs. Not knowing the couple or their circumstances, I’ll refrain from vilifying the husband in this, but it does seem the wife tried all she could. I’ve been married for twenty years to a great woman, and I understand that as much as you may love each other, keeping things “spicy” is difficult and becomes less and less of a priority after a time. Children, careers, and the mundane needs of everyday living conspire to keep our love lives low on our priorities list. I resolved long ago, though, to make every effort possible to let me wife know that I am still attracted to her and want her whenever time and circumstances allow. Do the little things — buy her flowers for no reason, chase her around the living room for sport, grope her on the couch when you’re watching TV (and the kids are away, of course!). Those things done often will do much more to keep a marriage alive than rare, grand gestures will, because they tell your wife (or husband, ladies) that through it all, you haven’t forgotten why you married this person in the first place. Do that, and there’s no need for porn or a book like this one.
Same here. I’ve been married for twenty years to the same man (btw in the USA if you really need to know) and I understand the need to “spice” things up in our relationship, but having two very young children does put a strain on our “we” time together. I don’t want to say that either side is wrong in this story but it does show signs that the marriage is failing. I have to agree that the woman did make some attempt at sexual relations with her husband and he was non-responsive to them. In order to have a lasting love affair with your spouse you should be willing to come to some kind of compromise with them. For my husband and myself, we talk dirty to each other (whispering it of course in each others ears), groping each other as we pass each other in the hallway (when the kids aren’t looking) and just all around having fun with each other whether thats being chased or telling each other how sexy the other is. A marriage is a partnership and both have to work at keeping that partnership alive even in the littlest of ways. I can honestly say that after twenty years with my husband I’m still in love with him and I never know what to expect from him.
That marriage was on the rocks before that book came out. That was just a cop out for the wife.
Well, I wouldn’t exactly completely agree with the husband’s action but if I were him, I would’ve been more attentive to her and a little more complementive than going off the Deep end of the marriage. Secondly, after I have paid her the attention and compliments that would keep her interested in me, I would ask her nicely, sincerely and honestly to never pick up and read another word from such a damning and so awfully graphical pornographically obscene inexcusable book that would scar not only all kids and adults but would scare the complete crap out of every single senior citizen on the planet. Just a word for all comedians of all kinds out there, don’t even bother trying to find a way to joke about the Fifty Shades of Grey book series….. It’ll just sicken and pervade your jokes more than the book series itself.
Joshua — the book is kind of a joke, if you’ve actually read it. They have sex on her period. Oh how frightening.
It sounds to me like he’s a homosexual or just a plain fool.
I believe he is a gay fool (I mean that in the most respectful way)
and then he was off to see his boyfriend.
It is my feeling that a husband should be considerate of his wife’s feelngs,and her needs. Sometimes a marriage becomes bogged down with day to day activity and the stressors of life. Spontanaiety and creativity are in order to add spice to a sometime bland existence. Sex which can be recreational to a couple,is more important in serving to bond them closer together. It’s all about mutual consideration,and of course,Love!
I can’t believe that this woman isn’t American.
So the man refused to treat his wife like a sex object, refused to dominate her, and she divorced him? Good deal. He deserves a woman who wants to be treated with respect. And yes, I happen to be female, but no, I’m not sending him my contact information. I’m already happily married to a man who would never treat me that way. You keep you Mr. Gray. I much prefer my Mr. Darcy.
Just because she wanted to enact sexy scenes from the book doesn’t make her a slut, or him in the Catbird seat due to the pending divorce. Did you even READ this article? She WANTED to dress up and play out scenes; it’s only disrespecting her if she doesn’t like it or agree. Not everyone wants vanilla, Jane Eyre type sex in their lives. If that’s your cup of tea, so be it. But it hardly means she’s disrespected for wanting it. And I don’t remember that husband ever asking for contact information from random, goodie-goodie wives, anyway. WoOf.
I hated this book…and I agree with the others as well…a grown powerful man and a simple college girl…how exciting! She is a horrible writer, it took several tries to get past 7 chapters and I was bored the whole time. Not everyone is going to find this type of sex to be for them and quite frankly some get turned off by it. I say do what makes you feel good but certainly we didn’t need a stupid book like this one to wake up our inner sex kittens! And after reading the comments I noticed that all the happily married couples with kids always seem to flirt and show affections when the kids are not around…why? Dont you think your kids want to see that you have this amazing wonderful relationship? Something that will help me grow up and know that you can still be flirty and fun even after kids and 20 years of marriage…if my parents had been affectionate in front of me I would probably believe that love still exists beyond 6 years…Dont hold back…let them see it! (However I am not saying get down and dirty with them in the room!) And on the the article…the book had nothing to do with it…her marriage was over long before she bought the lingerie that didnt work!
Most of the logical and rational responses are from the women on here. Some of the men’s comments make me wonder if this his how they communicate to women?! Some of the men on here get it. When you’re done playing games and you’re ready for a real lifelong relationship, with a good honest woman, a book is not going to be the deciding factor of whether or not your marriage lasts. In this case, as has been said, the book was a red herring.
Monica has her head on straight and could be the perfect woman. Have to check her portfolio to be sure. (O:= Sean and StephanieG hit the nail on the head. The “sex” is not just in the bedroom. Your whole relationship is part of making love. Whoever said, “It’s the little things…” was close. It’s everything. Every part of your relationship is “making love” and the whole purpose of being together. If the relationship is not working, it’s because one or more doesn’t want it or has lost interest.
If she doesn’t care enough about the relationship to give it up due to a few misgivings of the book, then there wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with.
I don’t know what S&M and sadomasochistic mean but now i want to buy the book and find out
my marriage needs spice too 
I think this guy should have taken care of his wife. This is a marriage. If this woman wants more sex, then by all means give her more sex. Partners need to take care of each other. If not than at least allow her to seek what she wants elsewhere.
Communication is a tricky thing to begin.We all have our styles.They had more problems then just not having enough love making.Relationships take effort and tweaking.There is plenty of better Erotica or Role Play out there than some half baked one…same way. Some people are too selflish to make a relationship work.Good luck with love game kids
Maybe she was just ugly.
Ha, this was actually my very first thought. All the lingerie and naughty talk in the world won’t make up for those extra 40 lbs. I think women forget that most guys are vision-oriented when it comes to arousal. We’re just wired that way. Trust me, it’s incredibly aggravating to be in love with your wife, but not be attracted to her.
honestly the fact the he would reneact the scenes isn’t much of a ground for divorce in my personal opinion. Thats like rejecting a million dollars because one is crumpled its absolutely stupid
I so agree with you I have been married to my husband for 30 years and like you my husband is very much a Mr. Darcy. I never read the book and don’t care to because of what I have heard about it…give me a literary classic romantic love story…now that is a book I like.
My wife and I both read all three volumes of the books and they worked out very well for us…but then again we had a good sex life prior to reading the books. Sounds to me like there was little that could have been done to save this marriage.
I understand the man getting caught by surprise, but wtf? Not wanting to play? Good gawd, why can’t I find a woman like that? Send her to the US; I’ll play any game she wants !!!! Woo hoo !
If she wanted a divorce, then get a divorce. Don’t put the entire marriage’s future on one sex game. He might not be interested in that particular type of sex game and that’s okay because not everyone is. She needs to focus on the whole picture, not just that one event
Consider me the Silent Bob of the internet. I hold my opinion in high regard, such that I have not shared until now. Check it out.
Marriage is not frivolous. To settle the matter, before signing off on the divorce, let the aggrieved wife take hold of the unspoken injured party here, the Holy Bible. Take in its wisdom with the same open-minded embrace that has been afforded the 50 shades of pale, and let the results from that encounter speak for themselves.
I think that the comments are alot more interesting than the article. I haven’t read the book, and neither has my wife, and I find it interesting that the men seem so threatened by a book about a fantasy sex life. I think it’s revealing about what some men are scared of, not the S&M aspect, but the whole idea of opening up and discussing their deepest sexual desires with their wife.
My wife and I share the same world-view, we are born-again Christians, and over the 35+ years we have discussed ALL of our desires for our lives, both physical (including sex) and spiritual. I think that the men who “demand” that their wife not read or talk about this novel are actually scared of what they think they will have to reveal about their own sexual desires.
I have talked about the desires I have to look at porn with my wife and with others, and through opening up those areas of my life, I’ve been far better able to deal with it. Porn, in my experience, is unhealthy for the person looking at it, and also harmful sexually and spiritually in a one-on-one relationship.
Jesus said that when we look at another person with lust in our heart, it’s the same as committing adultery. And it’s obvious, at least to me, that it not a way to build trust into a relationship. We are, or should be, at our most exposed emotionally as we participate in sex with another. So lusting after others either in person or in porn isn’t conducive to developing a fully trusting relationship.
Dave
This marriage was already doomed, it just took the fantasy of a book to make this woman realize that she was completely neglected and unwanted by her husband. I have been married for over 30 years and have many friends who have as well. Things tend to cool sexually as the years go by, but when either party stops caring and putting in any effort, they have either fallen completely out of love with their partner, or are having sex elsewhere. Either way, they will both be better off in moving on and hopefully finding new loves in the future. No one could be happy with a spouse that does not love or want them. No one.
Really, I mean Really!! She needs her head examined. the book was an excuse for her wanting a divorce to begin with. She just want to love them and leave them in her free life. So there be it.
Read a book on bad mate choices and see what you can really get yourself into for sex.
Clearly this relationship had more problems than 50 Shades could fix. Sounds like she needed a level of intimacy he couldn’t give, for whatever reason. Not just sexual intimacy either. He shouldn’t have to be someone he isn’t either. They were incompatible and are probably better off divorced.
woman 100 pounds over weight thing feathers and whips will excite their husbands….lose weight and exercise like the girl in the book and we will then get excited.