Ever wanted to know how good you are in bed? Now you don’t have to, with a new condom apparently able to track your sexual performance and give you a blow-by-blow account of how you did.
As if there wasn’t enough pressure when it comes to sex, the people at British Condoms have unveiled the i.Con Smart Condom, marketed as the “world’s first smart condom”.
According their website the i.Con it will be able to tell you everything from the velocity and speed of your thrusts, how many positions you conquered, your girth, calories burned and more importantly – how many times you actually had sex.
Those burning questions you always wanted to know but, never dared ask like – ‘did that count?’ – can finally be answered.
It will also be keeping tabs on your sexual health and alert you to any sexually transmitted diseases you may have contracted.
How exactly does it work though? The i.Con is not actually a condom itself, you’ll be buying a ring that fits over your old basic condom, which will then rate your moves during sex sessions using a combination of “nano-chip and sensors”.
The ring can go for six to eight hours of what is described as “live” usage – not completely sure what that means – and comes with a Micro-USB charging point for when you run it out. It comes in one size, but apparently there’s a “band adjustment feature”.
After the magic is over a report card breaking down exactly how you did will be sent to an app on your phone with details on how you rated – so kind of like a Fit-Bit for your penis.
While the information is anonymous British Condoms revealed “users will have the option to share their recent data with friends, or, indeed the world.”
We thought Facebook was bad enough, the prospect of dick updates has just become a very real thing.
Unfortunately the i.Con, which retails at £59.99 ($73.58) isn’t available yet and is still in the final stages of “testing”, but they expect to get it released sometime in 2017.
There’s no pre-order available either, but you can ‘Register Your Interest’ using their handy form.