This Psychic Will Predict Your Future by Touching Your Butt

A psychic in Peru doesn’t need to look at your palms to know what your future has in store, but she does need to take a peek at something a little more personal. Bibian Arango says that by looking at someone’s buttocks—and copping a bit of a feel—she is able to divine certain aspects of their future with accuracy.

In fact, Arango says she accurately predicted Shakira’s pregnancy just by looking at a photo of the Hips Don’t Lie singer’s rear.

The Colombian-born bum-reader is a self-proclaimed expert in rumpology, which she says is the study of people’s personalities and futures based on certain features of the buttocks.

Arango met with Manuel Rueda, from Fusion.net, in the office she runs in Lima to discuss her skill, reveals what kind of signs she looks and feels for when she does a buttock reading, and even dishes on some high-profile figures after seeing photos of their butts.

“Some people think it’s a joke,” said Arango. “But I don’t really care.”

In addition to seeing clients in her office, Arango also hosts a daily television segment where she reads tarot, gives horoscope advice, and performs live bum readings.

According to Arango, the shape of the butt—heart, ‘V’, square, or round—is a major factor in how she gets a reading. The shape is apparently a strong indicator of someone’s personality. In her experience, people with round butts are more optimistic, but insecure, while square-butted folks are more determined and have a lot more self-confidence.

She also relies on other features like moles, stretch marks, crevasses for clues about the future. For instance purple blood vessels can be a sign of impending death.

Arango said that features on the left cheek are indicative of the person’s past.

So what does she say about Kim Kardashian, who has one of the most famous rears in America?

She told Reuda:

“First of all, I have to tell you that this is a fake derriere. What you have here is a classic inverted heart…these people tend to have bad luck in their love lives, and they struggle with back problems.

She might be famous but her biggest enemy is herself. She’s got a euphoric persona, but she also has to leave ego aside. These kind of people rise like palm trees but fall like coconuts.”

See her do a live reading in the video above.