There’s a reason why long distance relationships have a bad rap–many of them do fail! On the other hand, there are plenty of couples that have made it work. So, what are the secrets of the successful, long distance daters? Read below and put into motion these four important tips.
1. TALK TO EACH OTHER EVERY DAY
Now, for anyone that saw last year’s Sundance darling Like Crazy, this may seem like bad advice. If a couple is in two different time zones spanning 12 hours or more, scheduling a set call time to talk every day can quickly turn from anticipation into resentment. So, send each other video messages saying good morning, good night, or even just to relate a funny story. Ditto goes for texts, emails, and voice messages. Do carve out time to Skype with each other so you have some face-to-face time–it’s free and it will make you feel more connected.
2. HAVE PLANE TICKET, WILL TRAVEL
Now, while Skype, phone calls, and texting have their advantages, frequent visits would really be helpful. Obviously, budget, jobs, and geography makes this a unique challenge to every couple. Work with what you have, and make sure visits are out of a want to see each other, and not an obligation to prove to the other party how committed you still are to them. It takes effort to keep the flame going, but once it’s completely out, it can cause a lot of stress on both sides to reignite it.
3. LISTEN AND BE KIND
It’s as simple as realizing that life doesn’t revolve around you, and to show compassion for your partner. Maybe you had a bad day–or they did–but this doesn’t mean you have to take it out on each other. Listen and support them. This doesn’t involve coming up with a solution to their problem or offering advice. It can be as simple as saying, “I’m sorry you had a bad day at work. I know how stressful those situations can be. I’m here for you to vent.”
4. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED
One of the biggest mistakes couples make is trying to keep their relationship the same when it has been changed so drastically. Living in a different city (or state, country, etc) is going to cause an upheaval in your day-to-day routine. Your focus now should be on continuing to tweak your relationship and alter your goals as your lives continue to evolve. It’s also important to go on living your own life as normally as possible. Don’t stop living just because your other half isn’t there to live it with. Think of all the exciting things you’ll have to tell each other the next day!