How to keep your love life hot? It’s a question people sometimes ask — even in the best relationships. So, what’s the answer?
Relationship experts say being satisfied in your love life trumps satisfaction in all other areas of your life. To keep your relationship rock solid in the coming year, Glenn Geher Ph.D. and co-author of the book Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love shares these tips.
1. Be Creative
It’s an alluring quality we often let fade deep into relationships. But, it makes you more attractive to your mate, so continue to pursue your passions! Whether it’s painting, playing the guitar or writing poetry, he’ll love how happy and relaxed the hobby makes you.
2. Random Acts of Kindness
Just because you’re married, you don’t have to stop all efforts of kindness. It can be as simple as leaving a love note on the bathroom mirror, starting a pot of coffee in the morning, or warming up the car on a cold winter day. Random acts of kindness go a long way.
3. Don’t Take Partner for Granted
Sure, she irons the sheets and he makes a fantastic dinner. But those are qualities we choose to do, so be sure a “thank you” accompanies tasks your partner does because they love you. Taking your partner for granted long term can lead to resentment, and often a disconnect in the marriage.
4. Show Class
Sure you want your guy friends to know you’re a beast in the bedroom, or you want your girlfriends to know he’s putty in your hands. But, privacy in a relationship is huge. If your partner is embarrassed by your sharing, he’ll begin to distrust your ability to keep anything private. Paranoia is not a turn-on in the bedroom.
5. Be Funny
“Humor seems to be correlated with general intelligence,” says Dr. Geher. “Funny people tend to be smart, and smart people tend to be good mates because they can solve problems.” No one is asking you to do stand up comedy, but keeping things light-hearted and telling a funny story once in awhile can be a nice break from a stressful situation. No one has ever rejected funny.
6. Priority Shifts
Maybe one of you started a job with a long commute, or you just added a new member to your family. Either way, the day-to-day routine of your relationship has changed, and you may need to alter how things were done by doing a little brainstorming. Instead of being resentful, Dr. Geher suggests getting creative. Make dinner later, have sex earlier in the day instead of late at night, or clean the house every other week instead of weekly.
7. Share Your Successes
Behind every great man/woman…you get the picture. If your partner supported you in your last big project and you got a bonus, or you dropped 10 pounds because he watched the kids every evening while you went to the gym, acknowledge his/her contribution to your success. Well done, team!