Why Is There a 9-Foot Hot Dog in The Middle of Alaskan Wilderness?

Four men were hiking through Alaskan wilderness when they stumbled upon something you wouldn’t quite expect to find in the middle of nowhere — a hot dog. Not just a hot dog, either, but one that was nine feet long.

It wasn’t a mirage, but in fact a giant foam hot dog in a 7 foot long bun beached like a whale on Cook Inlet of the remote Sustina River. But how did it get there, and more importantly, why on Earth would it be there?

The group of hikers, Graham Kraft, Andy Fischer, Eben Sargent, and Luc Mehl, were environmentally minded, so they decided to try getting rid of the litter by burning it.

No luck there, it created so much smoke they were worried a plane might mistake it as a distress signal.

“So we turned it over to put out the fire. Now there is a huge hot dog on the flats, flame-broiled to perfection,” Mehl said.

So the men left the hot dog to return to civilization, but Mehl was haunted by that giant hot dog, trying to crack the bizarre case. So he began an epic mission to discover the origins of the hot dog, a subject of much debate, he found, among savvy Alaskan hikers.

Thanks to Google Earth image of the hot dog 15 miles east, Mehl figured the hotdog had washed downriver, meaning it must have come from the Palmer-Wasilla area north of Anchorage.

Nearby residents seemed to vaguely recall a giant hot dog decorating Little Miller’s Ice Cream stand in Wasilla before it disappeared, likely from a high school prank.

The mystery finally blew right open thanks to a local high school grad named Allan Spangler. He revealed, under intense questioning, that several high school students had stolen the dog from Little Miller’s while it was briefly shut down and suspended it beneath the Old Glenn Highway Bridge.

At some point, it must have snapped clean off and washed downriver. Voila, it wound up on the remot Sustina River where Mehl and associates discovered it. Thus ends the epic mystery of the giant hot dog, a case worthy of Sherlock Holmes himself.