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How to Get Turned on When Your Man Doesn’t Do It Anymore

Are you having a little trouble getting inspired in the bedroom? Cosmo has hundreds of sex tips designed to get your man in the mood, but what about your needs? It might not be his fault, but maybe your man just isn’t able to turn you on like he used to—and that’s a problem.

Every relationship goes through some ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore or sacrifice your needs.

Never fear, because there are some super easy steps to take if this is the case, so you can get turned on all by yourself.

Go to the gym.

Exercise offers several benefits, both immediately and long term. First of all, exercising releases endorphins which will make you feel happier and make you more in the mood for sex. Secondly, a regular exercise routine will get your body toned and in peak physical condition, so you can try all those crazy positions you want to try—but maybe didn’t have the core strength for.

As an added bonus, as you get fit you’ll feel better and more confident about your body. And self-confidence is one of the sexiest things ever. If you think you look sexy, you’ll feel sexy too.

Get imaginative.

Men rely a lot of visual and physical stimulation to get things going down there, but women often need to be mentally aroused before they get physical. That doesn’t mean you should psyche yourself out—nothing kills the mood faster than overthinking—but it does mean you should tantalize yourself with some sexy scenarios.

Make up a hot little fantasy, or play out a scene in your head. Maybe read an erotic passage from your favorite romance novel, or even watch some adult videos to get yourself in the mood.

Change up the routine.

Ladies, it’s time to spice it up. Have sex in a new place, and make it into a sexy rendezvous. Try a new position or ask your man to indulge by playing out your inner-most secret, naughty fantasy.

Get intimate with yourself, instead of a partner.

Yes, one of the best ways to get in the mood is to masturbate. Use this personal time to get to know your body, and what gets you heated, then ask for next time you’re in bed with your man.

So go buy yourself some fun adult toys—and use them! You can find some of the top-rated adult toys available on the market here.

Get more sleep.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. To-do lists start taking over, and maybe you’re not prioritizing your own health and body anymore. So make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Sometimes that means making time for sex earlier in the evening, instead of waiting until right before bedtime. A well-rested lady is a happier lady when it comes time to sex.

Establish Sex Rituals.

Just like with exercise, when you physically feel good about yourself your confidence will spill over to other aspects of your life—like the bedroom. So create some little pre-sex rituals before you go for a roll in the hay to help get you in the mood, and transform yourself into the vixen that you are.

Get ready by taking a relaxing bath with your favorite essential oils, or perhaps treating yourself to a face mask in your favorite fluffy bathrobe. Or it can be as simple as slipping into your favorite set of matching lingerie.


Certain scents are believed to have aphrodisiac-like influence on your mind and body. Lavender, pumpkin pie, licorice are purported to increase blood flow to your sexy parts.

Change your diet.

Banana, peanut butter and honey contain vitamin B, which is believed to offer a natural libido boost. There are many other foods as well that are believed to act as aphrodisiacs to get you in the mood.

Talk to your doctor.

This isn’t always the case, but there could be an underlying health reason as to why you’re libido is taking a hit. Bringing up the issue to your gynecologist or primary physician could help you find answers.

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