LISTEN: Drunk Guy Calls 911 Hoping to Hookup

There are dating services for this, dude.

Stephen Ramsey of Naples, Florida (of course) was arrested in his home after getting drunk and calling 911 repeatedly in hopes of landing a date with one of the operators.

A recording of one such call is excruciating to sit through — it runs a full seven minutes — as Ramsey, who clearly has a drinking problem, rambles on to a surprisingly patient operator on the other line. The conversation is that rare mix of hilarious and soul-crushingly sad that will keep you listening for the duration.

For a couple highlights, skip ahead to 5:30 to hear him ask about the closest ambulance, which he doesn’t even need. “I’m just asking,” he clarifies.

He also asked another operator if she was into handcuffs on another call. “You into handcuffs?” he said before hanging up.

Ramsey apparently confessed that he had a problem with alcohol and said he was looking for an escort service to pass the time when he was arrested.

We have the short report above, and you can get more details on him in the video below.