Guy’s Wholly Inappropriate Christmas Cards Have Us Howling with Laughter

At one point or another, most of us are given the “you need to grow up” talk by our parents. Whether that means getting our grades up in order to get to college, getting a job, or generally just becoming more responsible, parents dole out these talks at least a handful of times.

In 2008, a man named John Cessna got the talk by his mother, but was given very specific directions.

“My mom instructed me to ‘sober up’ and send my own Christmas cards to family and friends” he says. And so he listened — sort of. He did start sending out his own cards, but the problem is, we don’t think his mom had exactly this in mind.

Check out the depressing, scary and all around inappropriate Christmas card John has sent his relatives every year since 2008.

We’re guessing his mom will never have another “grow up” talk with this one again.