We don’t know about you, but when we think of FBI personnel, we imagine some of the most disciplined, intelligent, and well-mannered people around.
Turns out, there are bad apples in every bunch – 1,045 bad apples, to be more specific. That’s the number of FBI employees CNN reported were punished between 2010 and 2012 for conducting themselves in an unseemly manner.
In short: they messed up, and some of the ways in which they messed up are pretty darn hilarious because you’d think that you would know you can’t get away with any funny business when the FBI is your boss.
To warn other employees from further embarrassing the agency, the FBI recently sent out an Internal disciplinary report to its workers, detailing various examples of unacceptable conducts carried out by actual employees who were either suspended or fired for their acts.
The report didn’t give identifying details such as names of the agents, but they did explain what kinds of things are not considered cool, in an effort to discourage others from carrying out similarly questionable acts.
So what were some of these acts?
To start, it seems the FBI has a sexting issue. One of the employees sent a nude selfie to several other employees. The report lists this act “caused office gossip” within the work-place. Oh yeah, naked pictures will do that.
Then there was the employee who harassed her ex-boyfriend and his current wife (!!) by sending them nude photos of herself and refusing to cease contact with the couple. Guess the FBI doesn’t always get its man (get it?)
There was also the employee who cyber stalked friends and coworkers by using the official FBI database, an employee who paid for sex in the form of a happy ending in a massage parlor, one who knowingly married a drug dealer, and the brilliant now-former employee who tried to spy on the boss by hiding a recording device in the supervisor’s office.