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Hitchhiker Gives Greatest Interview Ever After Saving Woman from Being Smothered

(Note: NSFW or for the kiddies, but you NEED to watch this video.)
You will either find it to be the greatest or most horrible television news interview, ever.
You could very well make an argument for both.
A hitchhiker from “Dogtown” named Kai said that after the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, Jett Simmons, picked him up, he drove his car into a Pacific Gas & Electric worker in Fresno.
Apparently, after Simmons ran the man over, he got out of his vehicle and tried to smother a woman with a bear hug. A bear hug?
That’s when Kai burst into action hitting the 6’4″, 290-pound Simmons over the head with a hatchet and saved the woman from being smothered to death.
Not once, not twice – but thrice.
The victim chose to remain unidentified. And as for Simmons? The 54-year-old Tacoma man has been arrested.
We truly hope that he gets the help he needs.
Also, there has to be someone out there watching who is able to get Kai a wet suit and board so that he can get back to surfin’ it up.
Who knows, considering the direction the world is headed…he may be the next face of reality TV. Afterall, Honey Boo Boo made it.
Yeah brah!

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Want to Look Slimmer? Fake It Till You Make It!