Jury Excused from Assault Trial for Laughing at Defendant’s Privates

Sexual assault is no laughing matter, but evidently no one told that to a British jury who couldn’t contain their giggles when the testimony mentioned the defendant’s less-than-sizable penis.

The case in question concerns Max Clifford, a 70-year-old publicist accused of assaulting seven women. The trial is still ongoing, but we want to address what happened about a week ago, an incident straight out of a comedy movie.

A woman testified that she was trying to break into modeling at age 17, when Clifford took advantage of her. More specifically, he groped her, masturbated in front of her, and then tried to pimp her out to American film producer Cubby Broccoli. In exchange, she would score a role in a James Bond film.

This is when the jury’s giggles began.

The woman in question said she thought Clifford’s penis was very large, but previous testimony indicated it was only about two-and-a-half inches erect. The defending lawyer asked the woman about this inconsistency. She clarified that his privates were the very first she had seen up close.

Everything went completely haywire in courtroom when the woman testified, “I have a small mouth. I do, my dentist has always said.” The jury erupted into laughter.

Their actions forced the judge to dismiss them from the courtroom. They were then given a few minutes to pull themselves together.

The judge remarked, “It is inevitable in a case dealing with this sort of graphic detail that members of the jury want to burst out laughing.” Even the judge admits he sees where the jury was coming from on this one.

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