Lalaloospy Potty Surprise Doll Proves the World Is Ending… or on Drugs

Around two months ago the Lalaloospy Potty Surprise doll came out, and we’re not quite sure how we missed it. But then a friend of First to Know was home smoking out baking cookies and he stumbled on the commercial above. Evidently you feed the doll some magic sand, she poops in a fake baby toilet, and you get a surprise.

Or, as the saccharine-sweet description on YouTube reads, “Lalaloopsy Potty Surprise! Feed her food before your eyes! Put her on the potty. Look inside. What will you get? Guess your prize! Button, Flower, Hear, Star. Potty Surprise!”

Beyond the creepy button eyes, the waiting open mouth that resembles a sex toy, and the bright colors with overly-excited kids in wigs, we thought this was a naughty fake commercial produced by Comedy Central or Cartoon Network’s Robot Chicken. But it’s not. It’s real. The Wiki page says they launched in 2010 and became quite popular, spinning off into games, TV specials and more.

That’s lovely — for them. But us? We have the jingle stuck in our head, and nightmares of little plastic kids popping into bowl and then ferreting around in their potty water for surprises. We can’t stop these fast-edited visions, and in some ways seems worse than the zombie apocalypse.

And, in case you care, here’s the description from the company website:

Lalaloospy Potty Surprise magically poops surprise shapes on her potty! Feed baby Jewel Sparkles baby food and when she’s ready to go, place her on the potty and she will magically a poop different shapes every time! It includes three different food colors! Do it over and over again for magical fun!

Yep, we’ll get right on that. Check out the video above and let us know what you think.