Man Caught Stealing Ribeye Steaks in His Colostomy Bag

“Where’s the beef?”

That was the likely question employees at a Food Lion Supermarket in Roebuck, South Carolina asked when five bags of rib eye steaks went missing. The answer would turn out to be a revolting one.

According to WSPA, two store employees saw David Hoyt, 55, place five bags of ribeye steaks into a canvas colostomy bag and left the market without paying. The two employees quickly identified the car and license plate of the shoplifting suspect as he left, then contacted authorities. Security footage verified their account of the theft.

For those of you who don’t know, a colostomy bag is commonly used to drain waste after a portion of the patient’s colon had been surgically removed. These are normally plastic, so the specific description of a “canvas colostomy bag” leads some to wonder whether or not this was a separate bag used to hold the waste-collecting bag in public.

The theft was reported to have happened at around 1.30pm on Tuesday, and the price of the stolen steaks was approximately $75. According to The Daily Mail:

A Spartanburg County sheriff’s deputy who responded to the scene headed to a home on Poole Street in Woodruff belonging to Hoyt’s girlfriend and found his Nissan parked outside.

When interviewed by police, Hoyt’s paramour, 47-year-old Angela Woody, revealed that the 55-year-old man had lifted the steaks from the store and stashed them in his colostomy bag for safekeeping.

At first, Hoyt denied the theft but he later admitted to taking the meat products without paying.

Hoyt was arrested and charged with shoplifting under $2,000; he is currently being held in the county jail on $2,130 bond.