Michigan Billboard Attempts to Flush Out Mystery Pooper

In Ypsilanti, a suburb of Ann Arbor in Michigan, a nefarious villain’s modus operandi is quite simple, and quite sinsiter: he poops on slides.

Yes, the man known only as the “Mystery Pooper” has been terrorizing the community by defecating on a children’s slide in the local Prospect park. The situation has grown so dire that police have installed security cameras near the slide.

A local billboard cropped up recently speaking against the pooper, and it’s rented out to some mystery hero. The Michigan billboard advertises the Twitter hashtag #ypsi pooper, along with rotating messages including such gems as “Do your civic doody, report the pooper,” “Help us catch the poopetrator” and “Help us flush the pooper.”

The billboard designs also sport a photo of a superhero with a logo across his chest showing a pile of feces with a line cut through it. Presumably, this masked vigilante is the one who rented the billboard to aid him in his quest to restore order to southeast Michigan.

This hero, a noted pun-lover, might not be the hero Ypsilanti needs right now, but he’s the one they deserve.

The billboard is located along Interstate 94 near the South Huron Street exit. If our readers have any pertinent information on the nefarious pooper, they should contact Detective Sergeant Tom Eberts at 734-482-9878 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-SPEAKUP (773-2587).

As for what will happen to the masked hero once the pooper is caught, or when Marvel Studios will give him his own blockbuster film, no one can say.