German authorities are currently hot on the trail of a dastardly criminal they’re calling “the milk sprayer” (seriously), who apparently uses spurts of breast milk to distract civilians while others rob them.
The busty, lactating woman recently visited a pharmacy in Darmstadt, where she blasted two employees. The Daily Mail reports that the woman went to the pharmacy’s counter to purchase a 20 euro vacuum pump, paying for it with a 200 euro note.
While the employee was fetching her 180 euros in change, she allegedly ripped open her blouse, removed her right breast and sent a stream of breast milk straight into the employee’s face.
“She then moved on to the second cashier and sent an eyeful in her direction too,” said police spokesman Ferdinand Derigs. “The staff and customers were frozen to pillars of salt, so unused as they were to this extraordinary act.”
The cashiers were so confused by the woman’s actions, and the breast milk apparently dripping off of them, that they somehow missed someone else lifting 100 euros out of a nearby cash register.
“She created the confusion to steal,” Derigs told the Daily Mail. “This was a most extraordinary crime. We have never dealt with such a thing before.”
The busty woman, who uses her lactation for evil, is wanted by police, and described as “strong, with long dark hair tied into a pony tail.”