Con Man Convicted of Selling Bottles of Urine and Feces as Whiskey

Nicholas Stewart was arrested after being caught selling liter bottles of counterfeit Jack Daniels whiskey and Smirnoff vodka at $15 a pop to tourists at a complex in Blackpool, England. Stewart, 35, later confessed to the true contents of his bootleg bottles, and…

Let’s just say we’re hoping none of his buyers took anything more than a sip.

The Huffington Post reports that a lab analysis showed that there was no trace of alcohol in the bottles.

“They were purported to contain whiskey and vodka, but they were water laced with urine and feces — probably to give the so-called whiskey color,” Blackpool Council prosecutor Victoria Cartmell testified in court. “They were totally unsuitable for public consumption — they were hazardous and contained dangerous e-coli bacteria.”

According to Cartmell, Stewart was involved in more than 30 other incidents. Although he plead guilty to fraud, Stewart will serve no jail time for his gross crimes. Instead, he was sentenced to a 70-day suspended sentence.

Authorities are currently seeking a Criminal Anti-Social Behavior Order (CRASBO) to prevent Stewart from selling any goods in Blackpool in the future.