Chicago Man Accidentally Super Glues Hand to His You-Know-What

WARNING: The above footage contains sexually suggestive material and is intended only for mature audiences.

It sounds more like a bad setpiece from a Farrelly brothers comedy than it sounds like real life, but this is the uncomfortable truth. A Chicago man somehow managed to superglue his hand to his penis.

This unlikely conundrum began while the man and his wife were getting ready for a bout of lovemaking. He reached for the lubricant and managed to grab an unfortunately-placed tube of superglue.

“This was a large amount of skin that was affixed together,” Dr. Matthew Valente, who attended the man during his hospital trip, told TLC reality program “Sex Sent Me To The E.R.” “There wasn’t just a small amount of glue. It wasn’t just one finger. It was, in fact, his entire palm and all his fingers, which were tightly affixed to his genitals.”

India Today reports that doctors were able to pry the man’s hand loose and send the couple’s home for some long-overdue cuddling and a hot meal. The video above shows some footage from “Sex Sent Me To The E.R.”