Twinkies, Ding-Dongs & More Mouth-Watering Million Dollar Auctions

When I think about what defines America, I think about The United States Constitution, the American flag, freedom and… Twinkies. Actually, I think about the freedom to eat Twinkies all the time whenever I want.

If you love those delicious creamy confections as much I do, then I’ve got good news: You can actually own all the Twinkies in the world — all you’ve got to do is pony up a small baseline offer of $410 million. Okay, so it’s not such a sweet deal, but with that kind of dough (yes, another bad pun), you could own the rights to make as many Twinkies as you want!

In March, a bunch of rich businessmen will attend an auction where they can buy the rights to produce Twinkies and a bunch of other famous products such as Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, and Wonder Bread, along with some factories, equipment and everything else you need to create the sweet stuff. After the Hostess bakery company went bankrupt last year, a judge ruled that its individual brands can go up for sale, with the total company assets totaling around $850 million.

This is actually just one of several amazing auctions going on right now around the country. Bidders recently spent $1.3 million on memorabilia sold by 1980 “Miracle” Olympic Goalie Mike Eruzione. And in Nevada, bidders got the chance to take home $3.5 million worth of gold coins from a local recluse.

For those of us with smaller wallets, there are still some amazing finds on places like eBay, but the place to score the best deals is actually on penny auction sites. Here’s how they differ from normal online auctions.

Visitors buy a series of bids to participate in an auction. Every time a person bids on an item, it’s deducted from that series, which ends up costing around 60 cents per bid. These sites make money off each bid, and that allows you to get your hands on high-priced luxury items at up to 95% off the retail price. Admittedly, winning takes a little strategy, but so do sites like eBay. You just have to figure out when to bid and how much, but over time, it’s easy to get the hang of it.

One such site is QuiBids, which offer everything from trips and restaurant gift cards, to amazing electronics like iPhones, Macbooks and HDTVs for basically nothing; one recent winner took home a new iPad for $39, and another nabbed a Panasonic 60-inch HDTV for just $3.87!

While most of us can’t afford to own the Twinkie brand, and we’re not foolish enough to buy old food products on eBay (even though the urban legend says they’ll last forever), at least we can get something cool for our cash. And, in the process, feel like a million bucks.