Let’s be honest — a LOT of Facebook users have some pretty annoying habits. And while we each want to think we’re not as strange as our friends, in the end a lot of us fall into one of these Facebook weirdo categories.
Here are the top 12 we found:
Disgusting Body Part Poster: You are obsessed with your own bodily functions, scars, bruises, and other maladies. For some reason, you’re under the impression that the world wants to see your broken fingers and hear about your doctors appointments, too. FYI, we don’t want to see your open gashes in our Facebook feeds or hear about how constipated you are.
#Blessed People: Each and everything that happens in your life is a blessing, and you can’t help but share your enthusiasm with the world. You are #blessed with the perfect husband, beautiful kids, and more wisdom than the Dalai Lama. Sometimes you’re so #blessed that your buddies want to tell you to f@#k off.
Selfie Kings & Queens: You’re not that hot. Ask anyone.
Relationship Whiner: You are constantly telling the world about your relationship problems. You either post direct comments about your other half’s behavior and/or share popular quotes about being treated poorly. And, if you’re single, you cry about: 1. Wanting to find that perfect person. 2. Lamenting about the one who got away. 3. The person who ruined your self-image. This will not help you find love. Just sayin’…
Animal Cruelty Advocate: You dream of saving every animal on the planet, but posting horrific photos of mangy dogs, cats, rabbits, and other creatures who have been beaten maimed and mistreated won’t do it. The majority of your friends are so freaked by your photos, they block you from their feed.
Conspiracy Theory Nutcase: You believe everything ever taught by your teachers and in the media is a complete hoax. We never visited the moon, JFK was killed by Tupac, 9/11 was committed by elf aliens posing as Islamic terrorists, and every cloud in the sky is filled with poisons that will kill us all. #ThanksObama! And speaking of Obama, you KNOW he and his cronies are going to impose martial law any day now.
Friends think you’re crazy-but-harmless, but you KNOW they are just sheep. Fortunately, in the end, you’ll survive and they won’t. Thank God.
Multi-Level Marketing Guru: You’re a genius, you’re sure you’ll hit the jackpot any day now, and you’re going to bring friends along for the ride. You’ll make them millionaires, too! So you post photos of the life you want to live, the HUGE deal you’re about to break, and photos of the friends who will thank you one day.
The sad truth? You think you’re a power player, but everyone else sees that you’re a power tool. And to be clear, very few multi-level marketers become millionaires.
Baby/Child Photo Whore: Your baby smiles, you post a photo. Your baby frowns, you post a photo. Your baby sleeps, you post a photo. Your baby poops, you share a photo. It never ends, and it gets real tiring.
Foodie from Hell: You take a photo of every single meal you shove down your throat. The more beautiful your food, the more photos, so people assume you spend every second of your life eating. Sometimes you make them hungry and other times you make them want to pour a drink over your head.
Constant Complainer: Every post details your horrible day, annoying people you meet, and everything else you hate. You think you’re quite cute and clever when you rant, but it gets f*&king depressing. BTW, there’s a reason why your friends aren’t commenting on your posts or calling you anymore…
“I can’t believe she posted that…” Person: You post photos that one day you’ll regret posting. Such as… That night you got drunk and (kissed another woman, flashed the camera, passed out with your best friend) and posted the photo on Facebook. That WILL come back to haunt you. Maybe not today, but it will — because the internet is forever, and one day a potential employer, life partner, or your mother will see it. Don’t be stupid!
Death Notice Announcer: You have an obsession with death and announce when every person, dog, cat, and squirrel dies. It doesn’t matter how much you know the person or animal, you need to tell the world how sorry you are they are gone. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s not good to be the bearer of bad news?” May want to think about this before you post your next weepy post.
Think we left someone off the list? Let us know in the comments below!