Woman Tries to Murder Boyfriend Using Her Chest

German lawyer Tim Schmidt, 30, claims that his girlfriend Franziska Hansen, 33, attempted to suffocate and murder him using her ample 38DD breasts.

Well, thought most American men, there are worse ways to go…

“She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts,” Schmidt told a German court, as reported in The Register. “Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed me between her breasts with all of her force. I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.”

Schmidt claims the assault, which occurred in May of 2012, happened because Hansen was jealous of his successful career. She is denying the charge, saying they were playing a sex game and Schmidt panicked. Whatever the motive, Schmidt did indeed freak out, managing to squeeze free from his girlfriend’s perky pillows and run naked from their home. He ended up at a neighbor’s house where he called the police.

Adding to this story’s possible motive, The Daily Mail quotes Schmidt as saying that after he got his job as a lawyer and the couple moved to the town of Unna, “She could not hold down a job and just had one part-time job after the other. And the better my career went – the worst it seemed to be for her.” He adds, “She even admitted it to me on the telephone. I asked her why she wanted to smother me to death with her breasts and she told me: ‘Treasure – I wanted your death to be as pleasurable as possible.'”

Photo: Krystal Taylor, Flickr